Joshua Alive
"Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies it bears much fruit."
John 12:24
only dreams of pain
there is no song
for death
only
love
remains
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Betrayal
In 2005 Joshua told us that he had been sexually abused as a child by the same family member who had abused other children. Joshua had began drinking around age 13 or 14 (we did not know at the time), and by 2005 when he could begin talking about the sexual abuse, he had deep rooted chemical addictions. Joshua tried valiantly to address these addictions through rehab, spiritual direction and therapy. At the time he died he had been sober for over 100 days and there were no drugs or alcohol in his system.
Although Joshua succumbed to death on August 21, 2007 we believe that he received the death wound to his spirit as a little boy. Incest and other types of abuse are often passed down generationally; and when the sins of the ancestors are not acknowledged, confessed and repented of, the result is death, both spiritually and eventually, physically. Few know the painful struggle that Joshua experienced most of his life, and which intensified over the last 3-4 years before he died. We were intimate with this struggle, and close beside him, as we had asked and received his forgiveness and become accountable for our part in wounding him as a child. With all that he had to overcome, we can only marvel at Joshua's endurance and his continued joy and seeking of God and truth in the midst of fear, pain and bewilderment.
The pain and sorrow of Joshua's death is real and not to be minimized. In our family all of us have been wounded by unchecked ancestral patterns of abuse and denial, and now we have fresh pain to deal with. We have been launched on a journey we did not choose. However, what we can choose is how we respond. We choose to keep Joshua's memory and soul (whole life) alive by doing and inspiring all the good we can in his name, for the glory of the God he believed and trusted all the years of his young life. We choose life, and we invite you to do the same. Please read on.
