"Songbird"
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 by Eva Cassidy

Joshua and Skywalker

      A Favorite Memory

I used to take Joshua on sales calls with me when he was little.  I remember one particular bright sunny day when we went to Bergin Autobody.  On the way into the shop, we saw a little yellow butterfly by the window.  I didn't think much about it until we got into the shop's office. Then, with all his enthusiasm and his infectious smile from ear to ear, Joshua proceeded to tell Nora Bergin that just yesterday he was out catching, "Flutterbys." 
I love you son, 
 Dad





Josh,
I love you so much bro.  You taught me everything.  Having a big brother like you is all I could ask for in one lifetime, and I miss you already.  I hate good bye and I don't want to admit the end, so I'm just going to wait.......
till I see you again.

Always your little brother,
Jer
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joshua you
were my protector,
as a little boy and as and adult.  You were always there for me when I really needed something.  You taught me how to tie my shoes.  I will always think of you as the little boy who was my first best friend..  When I thought of you I always felt a sharp stinging of your pain, and even as an adult you seemed to me to remain that little innocent boy who built tree forts with me in the woods, but carried a great pain in his heart.
I know that your pain is gone and you finally have peace and joy; you are now the little boy you were always meant to be.  You are my big brother and I still need you just as much as before.  Please continue to guide me as you did on earth.  I will  always look up to you so much, and I miss you, big brother. 

I love you,
Mandy



* * *

 My sweet and brave 
Joshua

You are the only person I know who was brave enough to completely be yourself, no matter what.  At times, you were not accepted for who you were, but  you didn't change for anyone.  I don't know anyone as generous as you.  You always gave to whoever needed, without any hesitation.  You always tried to make people happy, smiling, laughing and telling jokes.  You always smelled good too.  You were the most accepting and nonjudgmental person I know.  It breaks my heart to think of all that you have suffered, and of what you went through by yourself.  Nevertheless, you impacted so many lives and took care of so many people, but now you can rest and let God take care of you. 
I know you are in peace. I still think of you with pain, but now there is joy too. I remember that last day, and of when the sun suddenly shone so brightly, and just a few gentle raindrops fell.  Since then, I have known that your are finally happy, and that you are at peace.  Joshua, my brother, you've gone home.  
   I love you, Cassie
                       
 

Joshua,
I love you so much; you were always there to cheer me up whenever I was feeling down.  You were the nicest and funniest guy I've ever known.  You were also the most generous by far of anyone else, but that is not why we all loved you so much--it's because of your endless love and support for us in any situation.

Forever Love,
Elisha



++++++++++++++++

I felt closer to Joshua
than most of my nieces and nephews, probably because we are closer in age.  I have many memories of Josh.  I can remember playing with him as kids at the house on Bayridge Road…..everything from swimming in the pool to playing in the woods.  Once we hunted and treed a raccoon and it took forever to finally knock it down out of the tree, but we did get it.  There was the time we tried to catch a mole or maybe it was a mouse and Josh grabbed it and got bit and one of the painters at the house had to hit the rodent with a hammer.  Then we bagged it up and sent it in to make sure it didn’t have rabies.

I will never forget all of Josh’s impersonations, for example, as a child singing Elvis or as an adult doing various Austin Powers voices.  Josh always put a smile on my face and made me laugh.  Josh fixed dents in my truck and never wanted anything in return, I made him take a little something for his time. As we all know, Josh was a hard worker that was always giving 100%.  When he worked for me at LNR, no matter what we were doing, cleaning a closet, changing light bulbs, filing papers or whatever, no task was to big or small for Josh and the job was always done right.  Josh is an honest trustworthy guy.  He bought my jet ski and made every payment on time or earlier, same goes for the house on Barry Ave that he rented from LNR.

 Josh also has a huge heart.  He always played with my children and paid attention to them and loved them up whenever he saw them.  Both of my kids liked playing with Josh. Dylan especially liked it when Josh talked to him in one of his funny voices.  Now check this out…on Mikayla’s 2^nd birthday we invited all the family or whoever could make it to her party (no presents necessary).  Josh couldn’t make it, no big deal in my eyes.  Well a week or so later the door bell rings and Josh shows up at my house with a present (a big Dora doll house) for Mikayla.  Josh went out of his way to get her a present and then drive all the way out to my house...now that’s a guy with a big heart.

I will miss Josh.  He always had a good joke to tell, at least for my ears.  I will miss the occasional text messages I would get from Josh that contained a funny joke or picture.  Josh is my nephew but I also like to think I was a friend of his.  When Josh was thinking about buying the sports car (the maroon/red, GTO I think) he called me to see if he could keep it / store it, at my house.  I think he wanted to keep it out of sight so everybody wouldn’t say the typical thing to a young kid like “why spend your money on something like that” or “you don’t need that”…etc….anyway I was glad Josh knew he could call me.  I did tell him if he wanted to put the car at my house it wasn’t a problem.

I knew Josh made some mistakes and sins, but I never thought too much about it.  I have plenty of mistakes and sins of my own, as we all do in someway or another.  I feel so bad that I never knew the pain he had.  I wish I could have been there more for Josh.  I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, we serve a gracious and forgiving God, no matter how big or small the sin is.  I believe once you have invited God into your heart that He will not leave you even if you stray away from him.  God forgives me of my sin and God has forgiven Josh of his.  God has taken away the pain that Josh had and in this I find comfort and peace.  I will never forget my nephew, my friend, Josh!

Rick Zitzloff

    

My memories go back to Joshua

as a little boy, since that is when I had the most contact with  him.  I remember him coming to Joeys birthdays, or just to play.
Creatures...
Joshua loved the outdoors and had such an inquisitive spirit.  You never knew what  you might find in his  pockets or hand.  It could be something like an acorn  or flower, or some kind of rock he thought was cool.  But many times it was something more; anything from a spider to other bugs, or even better a frog, toad, a small snake or  whatever creature happened to be in the yard that day.  He would have an enthusiastic glow about him when he pulled it out of his pocket to show you!  Who knows how long it had been "living" in his pocket?! 

The Goldfish Story is a funny memory.  Joshua couldn't have been more than 3 years old or so when we had him at our house for the day.  He was playing with Joey in his room and I came to see what they were doing.  There was Joshua, his hand in the goldfish bowl fishing around to catch that fish.  I told him that we needed to keep the fish in the water and so he stopped.  But the next time by I saw him again, fish in hand!  He had conquered.  He just had to see what this fish was all about.  We threw him back in the bowl, but needless to say, by the end of the day, the fish was "belly up".  Joshua loved investigating nature and all of the things God has made.

Love to all,
Aunt Julie

 
                                                                                                                                                                                               

I will always think  of  Joshua's

 life as a book, a story.  Although it won't ever be as long as it should have been; it was more beautifull and wild then half the other stories two or three times longer.  Most others will be drawn out and boring by the end, but Josh's was and forever will be captivating and will draw you in; making you take a second glance. Josh 's life is best described as not just a book, but an open one.  He was ashamed of many things he did, just like the rest of us.  Unlike the rest of us though, he didn't hide it. 

Josh was honest and raw, everything about him was genuine and real. I will forever love him and his family.
     
Megan (Josh's cousin)
                  

              ************** 

Joshua is a delightful littleboy who seemed quite comfortable in this unusual setting. He reponded with a sparkle in his eye and was very cooperative thoughout this session.  On this battery of items used to measure a child's maturity level, Joshua's general skills and behaviors range from 41/2 to 51/2 years, but cluster at 51/2.  Little physical overflow; much verbal overflow--offering more info than requested; got off the subject at times; talked himself through the cubes and copy forms. . . he was eager to participate in activities, cooperative, and always waited for instructions. He was slow in pencil activities. 
Animal section hard to assess because he only wanted to talk  about the lion [Aslan] in "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe."

From Joshua's Pre-Kindergarten assessment. He was ready to go, with Aslan beside him. 

          

              + + +        

Mothersong

By Renée Zitzloff

(For Joshua and every child).

Your birth touched me in a way I had not imagined possible. Small and frightened you entered the world. I was overcome by your vulnerability; and relieved that the ordeal that had brought you to my arms was over.
Since that day, I have reviewed those scenes over and over in my mind, as though returning again and again to a favorite film. For I have found that with all the diversity that life has to offer; all the pain, all the joy, I cannot match those first moments with you. I cannot duplicate the tenderness, the awe, the fragileness of the moment that you lay on my tummy, and the cord that joined us together was severed.
You looked at me, so utterly helpless and unknowing of what was coming to pass. You didn't cry, though you whimpered slightly, and I asked what was wrong; why didn't you cry? I thought you had to cry to be alive. They said you had to catch your breath. And so did I; at the beauty, the sheer beauty of your existence.
Now, many months after your birth, you have changed our lives remarkably. Every day I watch and marvel at your innocent simplicity. You march around the house so intent on small tasks that mean nothing to the world, but are so important to you; and so important to me as I watch you grow. You are delighted with the "insignificant" things in life, and wrap your arms so easily around anyone who smiles at you. We spend hours upon hours together; playing silly games like "whoopty-do" and "fall boom boom." We tickle each other and giggle. We take long walks around the neighborhood with you in your stroller leading the way. Sometimes we discover a pretty rock or a flower, and it always ends up in your mouth.
When you wake up from your nap, I slip in and watch you playing with your toes for awhile. After a moment you feel my presence, and look up with that joyful smile that says, "I knew you would be here." Quickly you roll over and pull yourself up, reach out your arms, and wordlessly ask me to pick you up. I do, and you rest your head on my shoulder, just for a moment.

The world will never again be the same.

+++

 “You are never too old to kiss your mom.”  Joshua

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