Joshua Levi Zitzloff 
1982-2007
        succumbed to penacide* after struggling most of his young life with the unremitting emotional pain of sexual abuse by a member of our extended family, along with other traumatic issues within his family of origin. 
Joshua Alive carries on Joshua's legacy of creating joy, helping the poor and the outcast, and bringing to light the truth that childhood abuse not only damages a newly forming soul, but can also be a cause of death. It is also our goal to inform on what is usually termed "suicide", but more accurately should be called "penacide." According to Tony Salvatore, "Suicide" comes from two Latin roots, "sui" (of oneself) and "cidium" (a killing or slaying). This gives us the definition of suicide as the "deliberate or intentional killing of oneself." "Suicide" is inadequate. It omits the role of pain. There is a "killing of oneself," but it is a means to relieve what is seen as interminable pain. . . . Here's a better word for the process:  *PENACIDE
"Pena" is from the Latin "poena" (punishment or torment), the root of the word "pain." "Cide" is from "cedere" (to strike down). Penacide is "the killing of pain." It incorporates the reason, wanting to terminate one's pain. It eliminates the notion that "wanting to die" has anything to do with killing oneself. Penacide is not a kind of suicide. It's what causes the deaths recorded as suicides. It is the true name of the beast." (http://members.tripod.com/~LifeGard/)

Anyone who knew Joshua knew how much he loved life, and that he did not want to die. But those who are  abused, especially at a young age, experience a damaged will. This sets them up for a pattern of victimization, chronic addictions and a life of pain and sometimes pain seeking. In spite of these enormous hurdles, Joshua was strong and courageous and lived to give and receive joy and to love with an open, vulnerable heart.  Please read on.

Joshua and Family-July 2007


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